to my baby.

38 weeks (3.3.12)

to my sweet baby,

i am getting so excited to meet you! i can't believe the time is almost here. i have been carrying you around for the last nine months, dreaming of the day that i actually get to hold you in my arms. i have loved "seeing" you grow, and feeling you kick and squirm. it is such an amazing feeling to be pregnant, and i am so thankful for the miracle of life that God has blessed us with - YOU. we can't wait to see your sweet face, touch your soft skin, and kiss those little cheeks.

you are very loved, little one. i hope and pray that you will know this love every day of your life. i am so grateful that Jesus has blessed us with you, to love and raise. it is such an awesome privilege. one that i hope and pray i will do well at. your daddy and i are already so proud of you, and will always be there for you.

your big brother can't wait to meet you, either. everyday he asks if you are ready to come out. he loves you so much. you two are going to have so much fun together!

we can't wait to see you soon! thank you for making me a mommy again, i am so blessed to have you!

i love you,

mommy

waiting.

So I went to the Dr on Wednesday, and found out that I am now at 5cm, and am 90% effaced. (Sorry if that's too much info for some of you!) I can't believe I'm halfway there already! I feel as though this baby is just going to fall out while I'm walking around or something. I have never heard of someone being so dilated before being in labor, so I asked my Dr....she said she has had people be at 6cm for a few weeks before going into labor. Crazy. Her recommendation: get to the hospital fast whenever labor does start. Eeeks. I am a little nervous about how fast this delivery could go! But also so very excited. With each day that passes, my excitement level grows. Every night I go to bed wondering if I'll wake up with my water breaking, or with contractions. Tyler has his phone on him at all times during the day...I make him nervous every time I call.

Recent happenings and thoughts...

- I'm getting the waddling thing down pretty good these days.
- Cereal sounds good all the time.
- I made a big grocery shopping trip yesterday - feels so good to have that done!
- I find myself sitting on the couch more and more...have.no.energy.
- My back hurts more than I remember it hurting with Cruz.
- Cruz can hardly sit on my lap anymore!
- Tyler and I got to go out on what may have been our last date for awhile last Saturday night...thanks to a good friend offering to watch Cruz.
- We have a few girl names we like, but are really struggling with boy names.
- Our washing machine has been broken for about a week and half...Tyler is picking up a used one we found on craigslist today. SO excited.
- I have been trying to stay caught up on house chores...except for the laundry. I hope to get that caught up this weekend.
- I am feeling ready. Ready to meet my baby.
- I am also feeling nervous. Can I handle two?
- I get up at least 2-3 times during the night to go to the bathroom.
- It's getting more and more uncomfortable sleeping on my side.
- We got Cruz's toddler room set up last weekend...he is LOVING it! And he is staying in his bed!
- I cleaned out the nursery and am ready to decorate...with either pink or more green. :)
- Am feeling so grateful for all my family and friends who care so much about us and keep checking in. We feel so loved!

cruz and the baby.

Cruz is already in love with this baby. The other day I told him that the baby could hear him when he talks, so now he says "hi" to the baby at random moments during the day. It's so cute...his little voice gets super soft and he hugs my belly. He loves talking to it. Sometimes he feels it kick when he is sitting on my lap, and he always tells me that he felt it move.

Yesterday we were driving to my Mom's and we were talking about who my sisters were (since they were going to be there). He kept saying "I have a sister, Mom...in your tummy!". I told him that it is going to be a surprise, and that the baby might be a brother. He then replied, "but it might be a sister!". He sure is determined that it's going to be a girl. He then told me that he thinks it is going to be a "sister with pink socks". And then he said..."It's going to be a sister and I'm going to sit on her and break her". Where do these kinds of comments come from?!! Wow. I immediately told him that we don't talk like that and of course we don't want to break her. He said "I will fix her with my tools, Mommy. But not with my saws, just with my tools". Ha! What a boy.

pregnancy.

so, i will be 36 weeks along tomorrow. yesterday i went to the dr...and i am measuring 4cm and am 80% effaced already. i was so shocked. i know that i could still go several weeks like this, but i was not expecting to be so dilated already! especially since i wasn't ahead of time with cruz's pregnancy. i was just talking to my dr about how tyler is going to be out of town for a few days, and how we really want this baby to hold on a little longer. and then when she checked me she said "oh boy, carrie...you're already at 4!". please pray this baby holds on a little while longer. i admit i'm a little freaked out about the possibility that it could come while tyler is gone. but i am trying to remain calm...and not put myself into labor because of stress. :) i also freaked out yesterday because i still have so much i want to get done before this little babe makes its appearance. i have a long list of "to-do's" that i would love to get done, but really, they don't have to get done. i felt a calmness today, knowing that this baby will show up at the right time...even if that is earlier than i thought. and all those "to-do's"...well, they don't really matter. i got really excited today knowing that we are getting so close. i cannot wait to meet this little one! i can't wait to hold her/him close...and see if it is a boy or girl, too. :) who knows...maybe i'll stay at 4cm for several weeks yet. it could also mean that this labor is going to go a lot quicker than cruz's. which i would love!

pregnancy.

31 1/2 weeks.

here's a little update on how this pregnancy is going...in list form. :)

- i am 32 weeks along today.
- the baby loves to move and kick and do somersaults...i told tyler the other day that i'm a little worried because it seems more active than cruz was (and cruz has plenty of energy...what are we gonna do!)
- i have been feeling really good these days...the third trimester fatigue hasn't really set in yet.
- we are getting so excited to meet this little one! i think about him/her so much.
- i bought a blue outfit and a pink outfit the other day. wonder which one we'll bring the baby home from the hospital in?
- it is getting harder and harder for cruz to sit on my lap during storytime at night. tonight he sprawled out over my legs and used my stomach as a headrest.
- we still haven't picked out names. (eeks)
- i don't remember my stomach feeling so tight with cruz's pregnancy. my stomach feels so tight and stretched with this one...it seems like it is higher up in my ribs, too.
- brushing my teeth still isn't a pleasant experience.
- found out my dr is going to be gone for a few days starting march 19th...hoping the baby comes before then!
- i am measuring three weeks further along, but the dr says that doesn't mean i will go early. it could just be how the baby is positioned.
- sometimes i get scared about how i am going to be the mother of two...i hope i can handle the transition well and still give lots of love and attention to cruz.
- i just took off my wedding ring because it was getting a little too tight. i keep freaking out thinking i lost it!
- baby's heart rate has been anywhere between 134 and 156...so that makes it a little difficult for people who guess the gender by the heart rate. :)
- cruz goes back and forth with what he thinks the baby is...lately he has been saying brother. we keep telling him that it is going to be a surprise. i can't wait to see his reaction to the baby.

who is the mommy going to be?

While we were eating breakfast the other day, Cruz came up with this question out of the blue.

"Mommy, who is the baby's mommy going to be?"

I wanted to make sure I was hearing him right, so I said "what baby"?

He pointed to my growing belly.

I smiled and told him that I was going to be the mommy, that I was going to have two babies.

He looked at me and said "NO. You're MY mommy." And then he grabbed onto my arm real tight.

Oh boy. :)

thoughts on being pregnant.

i still can't believe it somedays...though this growing belly makes me remember more often.

we are so very excited about this baby. we have been wanting another one for awhile now, and are so thankful that it didn't take long to get pregnant. i do feel very blessed and do not take it for granted that i have another blessing inside. we can't wait to meet him/her in march! (and yes, we are going to wait to find out).

we found out that we were pregnant on july 14th. i was about a week late. tyler made me wait a whole week before taking the test. i could hardly stand it. i was pretty sure i was pregnant when i took the test though, because i had started feeling sick that day. we sat on the couch after i took the test, waiting the normal 3-5 minutes for the "pregnant" or "not pregnant" to show up...and even though i was pretty sure i was pregnant, we were both surprised to see the word "pregnant" on the stick in a matter of less than a minute. we were stunned...and ecstatic. :) i immediately thanked Jesus for the miracle growing inside of me.

it would of been really hard to believe the news, except for the fact that the nausea hit with full force again. i started feeling sick off and on everyday. it wouldn't last all day, for which i was thankful. i was especially tired and very unmotivated those first several weeks. i feel bad for cruz as we didn't do too many exciting things during this time. i am so glad that it has gotten better now though...it started getting better around week 14. i am now at 17 weeks and am so happy to say that i haven't thrown up or run to the toilet gagging in about two weeks. :) and i have a lot more energy!

we didn't wait very long before telling cruz the news. he was actually pretty interested in the fact that there was a baby in my tummy...and immediately thought there was a baby in his tummy, too. he really loves babies, and gets excited when he sees one, so i can't wait to see how he handles having a baby brother or sister! we talk about the baby often and he even talks to it sometimes, especially if he bumps into my tummy...he then says "sorry, baby". :) here are some other cute stories about cruz and the baby:

- "you sad, mommy?" (when i was starting to gag)...and when i answered "yes", he acted very concerned and then would keep asking if i was happy...when i said yes he was very relieved. i thought it was so cute how he equated being sick with being sad and being better with being happy.

- when we see babies he asks me if they came out of my tummy. :)

- he talks about how the baby has to grow older and then it can come out and play.

- for awhile there he would imitate my gagging...and sometimes even run to the toilet saying he was sick.

- he told one of his sitters that he was going to have a baby sister (before we had announced the news). i brushed it off when she asked. oops!

- he offers to get me a cheese stick whenever i start feeling sick.

i am so glad that i can now blog about my pregnancy. i have not been very good at writing things down with this one (with cruz's pregnancy i kept a really detailed journal), so i am hoping that this blog will be a good place for me to record my thoughts and memories. i know march is going to be here before we know it. can't wait! (but definitely have a lot to do before then!).

thanks for sharing in our excitement.

blessed.

baby #2 due on march 16th :)